The changing face of Educational Consulting

So here we are, yet again.  After taking advantage of a few opportunities to work in direct care the last few years, we are so very excited to be back to our roots of educational consulting and therapeutic placement. Now that we are back full-time and taking clients, it seems an opportune time to (re)ask ourselves the tough questions; how has the field of educational consulting changed? Are we staying on top of the trends? And most importantly, how can we serve our families, more specifically our clients, better?

Certainly we have tweaked the delivery of our services these last few years; For example, we no longer do placement only but we also now offer case management services, which is unique in our field.  Also, as many of you know we are one of the few educational consulting firms which is firmly entrenched in the addiction world.  In this capacity we with a network of interventionists, short and long term residential programs and sober living homes to assist our clients whose primary struggle is addiction.

All that being said, when looking back over the data from these last five years, one statistic comes through loud and clear.  Yes, the adolescent market is still the lion's share of our practice but the young adult market, and all its complexities, is an ever growing aspect of our consulting practice.  As a profession we have seen this coming down the pipeline for a while now.  All one needs to do is to ask an IEC who does therapeutic work what is the biggest trend they have seen over the last 5 years, and almost universally one will hear it's that their clientele has gotten both older and sicker. 

Certainly those on the programming end of things have seen this trend for a while now, and have expanded their services accordingly.  For example, many wilderness programs and residential programs now offer a young adult track to augment the fine work they already do. One only needs to go back a few years when options for the 18-25 year old whose primary diagnosis was not substance related were few and far between.

Simultaneous to this phenomenon of program expansion, there has been an explosion of age-specific programs for young adults recently.  Having spent the better part of the last year working directly with young men in recovery, we feel we are well educated on the trends in the addiction world and have positioned ourselves well to take advantage of the opportunities out there for families who are struggling.   With this new knowledge base, Loeta will be in a strong position to serve families well along their entire journey. 

We look forward to hearing from you about how Loeta can assist you and your families.

The Evolving Role of Independent Educational Consultants

“Oh man.”  I thought, “This won’t end well.”

That is seriously what I thought, I mean just about every time I have witnessed one of these audience participation/role modeling exercises at a conference the inevitable happens.  Someone acts like the joker, or tries to figure out the “trick” and the presenter ends up trying to reel in a crowd where half are mentally somewhere else, and the other half are doing emails. The expression herding cats often comes to mind...

But this time it was different.  At one point I  looked around, and people were really watching, almost eagerly anticipating the dreaded horn sound when the participants, some of whom slipped right into playing appropriate roles, made a mistake.  By the end the whole audience, numbering close to 125, was enthralled and eager to see how this activity is used in the field.

Welcome to the 1^st Annual FITS Conference, hosted and put on by Second Nature Wilderness Programs. 

Now what made this all work so well was the brilliance of metaphorically locking IEC’s and treatment professionals in a room together and forcing all of us to see that we are all doing the same thing.  Now of course I am coming at this from the angle of an Educational Consultant, but for years it seems that so many people have made assumptions about the roles that IEC’s play in the placement and follow up care of clients who struggle in more traditional settings.  Granted, if you were to sit 10 IEC’s down, you would most likely get 10 different answers, but I truly feel that the good IEC’s, ones who have worked to understand the treatment world, understand the unique collaborative nature of this side of the business. 

It was an utter joy to sit down and see my fellow IEC’s sitting and chatting with interventionists and therapists, and no one seemed threatened.  Everyone understood that we are all in this for the same reason, and we all bring our own unique skill set and expertise to the table.  Instead of resentment and accusations, we witnessed folks truly spending time trying to learn from each other; plans were made to have IEC’s attend and even present at what are traditionally thought of as addiction conferences, panels with professionals from all corners of the treatment world, hosted by wilderness therapists and being peppered with questions from therapists, IEC' s and interventions ended 15 minute late because no-one wanted them to end and  typical of this field, I have never seen so many hugs when a group said good bye.

Just like that wonderfully mixed group who participated in the activity during that session, we were a mixed crew; a crew who realized that after a great deal of wrangling, negotiation, denial and missteps that to reach our common goal we all need to work together.

 

 

 

 

Educational Consulting with the "Failure to Launch" generation; what does independence really mean?

Last week, after spending the day at the School Connections meeting in Boston, MA, I treated myself with a date, a date with my college freshman daughter.  It’s always hard to get a few minutes with her, between her studying (ha!) and basketball practice/games and me running my own business, it’s a rare moment that this Dad can sneak away and have an uninterrupted dinner with his (now) adult daughter. 

During the course of our dinner between mouthfuls and small talk about her sister and my parents, there was a silence, and then she exclaimed, “You know I really do live on my own now.  Think about it, I get myself to classes, practice and games, get my own meals and don’t have to tell anyone where I’m going” Almost immediately I thought, well if you truly live on your own I guess I can pass along these tuition bills to you, but I suppressed that somewhat sarcastic response and just sat back, smiled and watched her as she explained to me the rigors of being in college.

After I got back from dinner I started thinking about what my daughter has talked about, and it got me thinking; what does independence really mean?  I’m sure we all have different definitions – is it living outside of the home?  On your own?  Or is it when you get your first job and that heavily coveted paycheck.  Maybe it is as my daughter says and it’s when you head off to college or basic training. 

Here’s the kicker; it doesn't matter what your perception if independence is; it’s what their perception is. 

Think about it, if a child feels independent, in their mind then they are.  Now what that independence looks like, and whether we agree that they truly are independent is a whole different discussion.  Also a different discussion is why we seem to have such a huge number of dependent, or failure to launch young adults on our hands these days.  Certainly theories abound; kids are growing up too fast, there’s too much technology, kids aren’t responsible enough, poor diets, poor parenting, they’re just lazy, we’re just lazy etc. etc. These are debates which are larger than this little blog, but whatever the reason(s) the reality is that there are a growing number of kids not taking what we consider the traditional path to adulthood.

This trend has impact across the board.  In the Independent Educational Consultant world, it means what we refer to as the young adult market has exploded.  While not a scientific study, anecdotally the young adult portion of Loeta’s business has gone from less than 10% in 2009 to nearly 50% today.  Coinciding with this has been an explosion of young adult programming in our field.  Whether it be wilderness programs, augmented rehab programming or residential therapeutic programs the choices are becoming wider and more varied. 

Some of these programs do a great job of giving these clients an avenue to utilize the tools they have gained over the years while getting them set up in a new city in school or the workforce, while others start from step one with intense therapy and/or treatment.  Some are a shorter more intense programs while others take up to a year to support their clients. A young person can now choose a college based on the college’s counseling and what kind of sobriety support they have; indeed we have come a long ways from Faber College.

At Loeta we spend a lot of our time on the road visiting these programs, just as we do with the adolescent programs, we get to know the people, we spend time with the clients, and we work with the clients on helping choose just the right program for them.  It’s a different process than the one when we work with families of adolescents, we acknowledge the independence of the adults we are working with, and work in conjunction with them, the programs and parents to help chart out a path.  It’s a very collaborative process, and one we are proud of.

So after dinner, I paid (of course), and we walked back to my “T” stop. After a hug goodbye, I watched her run across the street on her way up to her dorm and I though there goes a truly independent young woman, or, as I like to think of her, my little girl.

How "Undercover Boss" helped me become a better Independent Educational Consultant

Have any of you ever seen that show Undercover Boss?  I've seen a few episodes over the last few years, and it's quite an interesting show.  I am always amused when they have the scene where the white collar boss (usually with a bad toupee on) attempts to work the register of the fast food restaurant or is a chambermaid  at a fancy hotel for one shift.  There is always that odd juxtaposition of the hotel owner being dressed down by hourly employee for not doing his or her job right in the first scene, and then the look of shock when they realize it was actually the owner they were scolding. 

Well in some ways that’s the way I spent my last year.  After 9 years away from running a school, I was thrust back into the world of therapeutic boarding schools.  And like the folks on "Undercover Boss", I often found myself listening to parents, students and staff members speaking about their Independent Educational Consultants (IEC’s), most of whom had no idea I had spent 9 years being an IEC, and more than likely knew of whom they spoke.  I’m not going to lie, during some of the stories I winced at mistakes made, but I have to say that most of the stories I heard made me realize how caring, intelligent and well-trained most IEC’s really are.  During this time of listening I learned a lot about our profession, and have picked up a few lessons…

So what exactly are these lessons?  Well first humility. Some of the most powerful and empowering moments I was involved with this last year, were when I saw IEC’s work inclusively as opposed to exclusively.  I (re)learned very quickly that no one person knows everything, and if we are truly out for the best interest of the child we need to take advice and input for a wide range of sources; parents, therapists and most importantly, the kids themselves.

Second lesson?  You can’t communicate enough.  When one does this job for a while, I think one gets a little too comfortable with the process. On a few occasions this year I was able to see how effective communication from an IEC positively impacted a child’s stay at my school.  When an IEC is pro-active as opposed to reactive, it is so much better for the child.   We as IEC’s know what the process looks like, but this last year really let me see the families go through it all, and the thing I feel could have helped in almost every tense situation was more communication.

My third lesson is harder to define, but in essence it’s to have more fun.  In watching the relationships between families and their IEC’s there was a discernible difference between the families who could sense the passion and enjoyment their IEC felt for their job, and those who were seemingly just cashing a check.  Our passion for what we do definitely comes through, and our positive (or negative) energy most definitely impacts not only the parents, but also the kids we are working with. 

So now that I've had my year as "Undercover Educational Consultant,"  I am so excited to take the lessons I learned, couple them with the new-found passion I have for working with the kids and apply them to all of my families.

Who knows, maybe this could be a new episode of the show; I wonder who’d they get to play me??? 

Bullying in the Age of Facebook...A Scary New World

I remember going to a summer hockey camp back in the mid 1970’s; 2 weeks of being on the ice an average of 6 or so hours a day with lots of other activities including tennis, swimming and flag-football games to fill the summer days of a bunch of 10-18 year old boys.

Sounds pretty good, doesn’t it…

Well it wasn’t.

You see I was one of the 10 year olds; low man on the totem pole, so my life was pretty rough.  I was picked on and bullied fairly intensely, and I spent many nights crying in my pillow. But I was lucky, the leader of the camp was a nice gentleman who took me under his wing, and allowed me to escape. He would invite me over to his faculty apartment and I had quiet evenings away from what seemed like hell. By the end I even learned to really enjoy myself. In retrospect what I went through was really just a normal amount of “boys being boys”, and in many ways was a learning experience for me, but at the time it seemed pretty bad.

The big difference between my experience and what happens today? I was able to get away, to escape. I wasn’t hounded 24/7. There was no Facebook, no mass texts, no internet. Think back for a bit; imagine if those bullies you faced in middle school had access to your entire life. Sounds pretty bad, doesn’t it. As adults we just can’t imagine it, but the reality is our children live it everyday. For those who compare what we went through as kids to what’s happening today, I say you are at best being naïve, at worst cold and unfeeling.

I made it through that hockey camp unscathed. My hope is that you pass the this blog along to friends, professionals and kids so they can see what cyberbullying is all about, and more kids can make it through school the same way.

The article below gives some great insight into the cyberbullying world, and has some great advice at the end.  We need to ALL stand up against this.

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Cyberbullying versus Traditional Bullying
When joking crosses the line. Published on May 14, 2012
by Raychelle Cassada Lohmann, M.S., L.P.C. in Teen Angst

  Just how different is traditional bullying from cyberbullying? Studies are beginning to show that the way youth bully online is a lot different from traditional schoolyard bullying. Teens may think what they are posting or texting is just a joke, but if you're on the receiving end it may not be all that funny. In fact, if the "joking" is repetitive, it could cross the line into bullying, more specifically cyberbullying.

According to the American Academy of Pediatrics cyberbullying is the "most common online risk for all teens and is a peer to peer risk." According to a study released by the University of British Columbia cyberbullying is a big problem, even more common than traditional bullying. About 25 to 30 percent of the young people surveyed admitted experiencing or taking part in cyberbullying, but only 12 percent said the same about traditional bullying. To top it off, 95 percent of the youth said that what happened online was meant to be a joke and about 5 percent was actually meant to harm someone. So, what makes cyberbullying so different from traditional bullying?

In traditional bullying you're usually working with a bully, victim or bystander but that's not the case in cyberbullying. In fact, it's not uncommon to play multiple roles such as cyberbully, target and witness. Previous research indicates that cyberbullying is rarely pre-meditated like traditional bullying, where the bully plans his or her line of attack. In many cases cyberbullying is done impulsively and not planned out like in traditional bullying where the bully pre-meditates the next attack. Also, traditional bullying has the following characteristics that may not be present in cyberbullying cases:

•a need for power and control
•proactively targeting the victim
•aggression

So, just what is cyberbullying? By definition, it's the deliberate and repeated harm inflicted through the use of cell phones/Smartphone's, computers/tablets, and other electronic devices (including Wi-Fi gaming devices). It's an easier way to bully because unlike traditional bullying it doesn't involve face to face interaction. Teens can become desensitized to a computer screen, and say or do things they wouldn't do to a person's face. The computer desensitizes teens and decreases the level of empathy they feel toward the victim. Plus, when they can't see the person's reaction to what they post or text they may not know if they've gone too far.

It appears that today's youth don't equate joking around with bullying. Even though they do it jokingly it can cut the receiver deeply. By definition a joke is something that is suppose to but here's the magic question "who's laughing?" Ask any teen who's been cyberbullied and they probably won't see the humor in the situation. Plus, when something is posted online, it can be humiliating. That old saying "www" means the "whole world's watching" holds true and cyberbullying victims know it. Bottom line is cyberbullying hurts.

Just Imagine...

You get a text from a friend to check out someone's page, you go there and see degrading posts and a crude picture of you in a swimsuit that had been Photoshopped. Following the posts are a string of lewd comments. You start getting text after text from people, some you don't even know, saying mean things about the post. It feels like the world is laughing at you only you're not laughing. You dread going to school the next day because you have to face all of these people. Your stomach is churning and your head is pounding. You pray it will just go away, like it never happened. "MAKE IT STOP, Make It Stop, make it stop." screams through your mind. You have just entered into the world of a victim. What may have started as a mean joke crossed the line into something more severe, cyberbullying. Scenarios like this are just one example of how some teens are misusing technology.

Young people can quickly spread a rumor through texting, taping an embarrassing incident and posting it on YouTube, or uploading pictures or unkind comments on social networking sites. There are many different avenues that can be used to cyberbully. The key to decreasing cyberbullying is educating today's youth to think before they click. One wrong click has the power to change someone's life forever.

Teaching teens to protect themselves online is very important. I compare learning how to drive a car to teaching teens how to use technology. Here's my logic, odds are you wouldn't turn your teen loose with the keys to the car if they haven't been properly trained or educated to operate a vehicle Why? Because it's dangerous! He could kill himself or someone else. Well, we should realize that the wonderful cyber world also possesses dangers. The internet highway can be dangerous if teens post inappropriate material, bully, give out personal information to strangers, etc. So we really need to educate our teens about how to use technology appropriately. Just as you probably wouldn't toss the car keys at an inexperienced teen and tell him to go take a spin, you shouldn't place a Smartphone or any other electronic device with internet capability in his hands without making sure that he knows how to use it properly.

Let's help our teens realize that feelings do exist in the cyber world, manners do matter, and most importantly, there's a real life person on the receiving end of the messages... A person who laughs, cries and hurts, just like we do. Please help teach our young people that what they do and say to one another off or online does make a difference.

Teens can use these tips to protect themselves online.

•Tell a trusted adult if you're being cyberbullied.
•If you know someone who's being a cyberbully tell her/him to knock it off, if they don't report it. •Contact host/site providers if inappropriate material is being posted on their site.
•Save all evidence if you're being bullied online. Don't delete without keeping a copy for yourself. •Don't respond to rude messages.
•If someone angers you, wait, don't fire off a rude comeback. It'll only make things worse.
•Don't share personal information online.
•Protect your username and password. Don't share it with friends.
•Don't open anything from someone you don't know.
•Keep privacy settings on your computer. Secure your information.
•Choose your friends wisely.
•Only accept close friends on your social networking sites.
•Don't post anything online that you wouldn't mind your parents seeing.
•Most importantly, treat others as you want to be treated. Think before you click. Look at what your posting or uploading and ask "Would I want someone saying or putting that about me online?" If the answer is "No" then don't do it.

While the internet can be fun and super cool it comes with responsibility. Have fun with technology just take heed and exercise caution when using it. A joke is meant to be funny but not at the expense of another person's feelings. Young people joking is one click away from cyberbullying.

How one Independent Educational Consultant helped a few families; 4204 times..

4204.

It sounds like a pretty benign number, but to me 4204 it was pretty amazing, you see 4204 was the number of texts I sent and received last month. Now certainly there were quite a few to and from friends and family; for example I remember a rather amusing exchange I had with my 16 year old daughter when we on a basketball trip together, but many of them were to and from therapists, parents, and clients; in short many of them were team texts.

What is a team text you ask? Well, that’s a legitimate question. To answer that you need to know that so much of what I aspire to do is to develop a team approach to working with my families. I incorporate therapists, teachers, coaches, and family friends; anyone who will help me paint a picture. Included in that team, of course, are the parents, and the kids (disclaimer, I refer to all of my clients as kids, I know it’s not right, and most likely not politically correct. Maybe for the over 18 year old kids I should use the phrases young adults, or persons of emerging maturity – yes I just made that up - but I don’t, sorry) So a team text is a correspondence between/amongst the team to help share information. It may be as simple as a change in time of a weekly call, or it may be as significant as updates from a transport agent or therapist. In any case, the immediacy of these team texts really helps in putting out a metaphorical fire or perhaps allows a Mom or Dad to sleep a bit better knowing their child is safe.

You see when we are retained by a family, I always tell them a variation of the phrase; contact me at any time, phone, fax, email, and yes, text. Many of my fellow IEC’s cringe at this, but I feel it’s important. If you have read my blog before you know that I use my role as an IEC as a modified case manager and it’s in that role that I often team text. I feel it’s imperative that the families know that they have me in their corner, and I have found that while they will never replace face to face or a phone call, these texts really help many families.

It’s a scary time for a lot of the families who hire us, and I like to think that doing some case management; spending lots of time on the phone listening to insights and offering advice and, yes, being available when they need me, makes this tumultuous time a little less scary for everyone.

Oh, gotta go…you guessed it, just got a text!

"I'm sorry, Just What is an Independent Educational Consultant?"

It is a scene which has played out countless times for me over the years. I have the opportunity to exchange business cards with someone; after chatting for a bit they look at my card, and I watch their brow furrow more and more quizically as they read over my information. Eventualy the inevitable question comes: ”Just what is an Educational Consultant?”

While some of my colleagues may get frustrated by this question, I feel that for those of us in a relatively young (and rapidly growing) profession, we need to accept it. A case in point; last week on a tour of some adult rehab facilities, I ended up spending time describing the job of an Independent Educational Consultant (IEC).

I started, as I always do with my professional membership in IECA. I explained that being a member of IECA meant I had the highest professional standards, the broadest network of professionals and the support of a national organization. I went on to say that IECA is a large organization (900+ members) yet it is really organization about people and relationships. I also spoke of program visits, education centers, and advanced training. While they were appropriately impressed, I could tell that I was losing focus of what (in my opinion) an IEC really is. So I decided that I needed to tell them a story; a story I have told many times in the last 3 years, but it’s one which I feel epitomizes client/consultant teamwork.

Below is a letter written by one of my client’s parents, I wish I could tell you that I told their story this eloquently, but I can’t; what I can tell you that I don’t tout myself this much in my version of the story. Honestly, you can take my name out and insert any IEC...we all do the same thing...Also, while I’m in confession mode, I think I butchered the story a bit, but I think they got the drift…

So here is John’s* story, as told by Mom…

We knew in our hearts months before we came face to face with our 14-year-old son's activities, that we were entering into unchartered parental waters when it came to dealing with his unacceptable behavior. There was confusion and total terror not knowing what had happened to our wonderful, charming, smart, funny, pleasant son…and why.

Grounding him and serious monitoring of his every waking hour left us feeling exhausted from sleepless nights and emotionally sick from our never-ending suspicions. However, even these measures proved inadequate, because as although we were good, involved, and loving parents, we didn’t know what was happening. We were on a quest to find the right answer, but helpless and lost. Our dilemma was compounded by the fact that few of our social peers shared our zero tolerance toward drug and underage drinking policies. Close friends wanted to help, but didn't understand what it's like once your child begins to act out, and the "fear factor" of your child's survival enters your home.

At a critical moment, with police having just left our home, our son barricaded in his room, and our anniversary evening plans canceled, we received a life line from a friend of a friend. This man shared with absolute honesty his experience with his son and how an educational consultant, Bar Clarke, had helped him find his first glimmer of light in the tunnel of fear and darkness. He suggested we call Bar and went on to say that Bar saw his family through his son's therapeutic wilderness time and placement in a residential aftercare program. At the time of his call to us, his son was back at home attending college and was on a good life track.

This Good Samaritan was our introduction to educational consultants and we feel lucky that we did not have to interview ECs and flounder through this process. We had enough to worry about with our son, without the added stress of depending on an unknown EC.

Our son was on the young side and the thought of sending him away was heart wrenching and overwhelming. Bar was patient, informative, and never once pressured us to take action that we were not ready for. We were totally honest with Bar, our son's school administrators, and with ourselves. Our goal was to get help for our son, keep him safe, maintain our own sanity, and hopefully get him through 9th grade. Bar understood and supported our goal. He "hung in there with us" through many, many challenging moments and frantic phone calls. Six months after our first conversation with Bar, and a week after our son finished 9th grade, our son entered a wilderness program that Bar helped us find. Bar was an integral part of our family's very positive experience with our son's 11 week wilderness time.

Bar's familiarity with wilderness programs, working therapists, and therapeutic residential programs has been a tremendous component in our son's recovery and return to us from the dark side.

Working with Bar on an individually tailored process, we learned that your EC must tune in to you and your child, and interpret what each of you needs to be successful. The EC must understand the uniqueness of each child and family dynamics, and work within these parameters in an attempt to help the entire family. Not an easy task.

Bar's reputation with RTCs afforded our son the opportunity to attend a unique high school program that might not have otherwise accepted him. It was the right school for our son, and we never would have found it without Bar’s expertise.

Our son is our miracle child - he's flourishing, and his wonderful sense of self, humor, and desire to succeed is back. I am not sure we would be where we are today without Bar’s role in this process.

Dr. Leonard Sax Presenting on Gender Issues at Dallas IECA Conference

For the last few months, I have been obsessed with reading two of Dr. Sax's books, "Boys Adrift" and "Girls on the Edge". I have found myself preaching the sermon according to Sax to anyone who will listen, and have had a wonderful time exchanging snippets of his books with friends and colleagues on Facebook and Twitter; and, oh yes, and in person as well!

In "Boys Adrift" Dr. Sax describes the five factors driving the decline of boys as:

Video Games. Studies suggest that some of the most popular video games are disengaging boys from real-world pursuits.

Teaching Methods. Profound changes in the way children are educated have had the unintended consequence of turning many boys off school.

Prescription Drugs. Overuse of medication for ADHD may be causing irreversible damage to the motivational centers in boys’ brains.

Endocrine Disruptors. Environmental estrogens from plastic bottles and food sources may be lowering boys’ testosterone levels, making their bones more brittle and throwing their endocrine systems out of whack.

Devaluation of Masculinity. Shifts in popular culture have transformed the role models of manhood. Forty years ago we had Father Knows Best; today we have The Simpsons.

In "Girls on the Edge" he looks at:

Sexual identity. Why bisexual girls may be more numerous and/or more evident today, particularly with regard to the sexualization of girlhood.


The cyberbubble. The typical teenage girl in the USA now sends 80 text messages per day, compared with 30 text messages per day sent by the typical teenage boy.

Obsessions. How common is cutting? Is cutting more common among girls than among boys? Even ten years ago, it was unusual to find girls cutting themselves. Today it's common.

Chapter 4: Endocrine disruptors. The risks of PET (polyethylene terephathalate)

These are fascinating reads, and ones which make you really think about children, and our role in helping them help themselves. I am eagerly anticipating attending Dr Sax's sessions at the IECA conference later this week in Dallas, and am looking forward to reporting back here with new insights gained...

Travel and the Independent Educational Consultant

“No sweetie, really, it’s actually colder here!”

That was part of the phone call I had with my 12 year old daughter, when I called her from Newport Beach, CA last week. I had to laugh about it; I had left ME, where one expects it to be cold in the fall, and landed in a cold, wet, and I dare say dreary, southern CA. I know I shouldn’t complain, as IEC’s we do travel to some pretty remarkable places, and yes there are certain perks to the number of miles we fly (no checked bag fee, yeah!) But still… Rain? In Southern CA? Really?

Because of the amount of time we as Independent Educational Consultants spend on the road visiting schools, programs and clients; sometimes I think we get a bit jaded, overwhelmed, and well just plain old tired. After all, to maintain our membership in good standing with IECA, we have to visit programs and schools constantly, and in a busy year we can - when you figure that for those of us in the therapeutic world many of the programs are quite remote - sometimes be out of the office for a week and only have the chance to visit a few programs.

With that knowledge, when I kept hearing about School Connections and the opportunity it presented of meeting one on one with up to 30 school representatives, coupled with the fact that I had only heard great things about it, and the fact that this fall’s offering was in an area near a few programs I wanted to visit, it didn’t take a lot of convincing to get me to go.

After a day and a half of 20+ 25 minute meetings with program representatives, I can honestly say SC is a wonderful opportunity for seasoned IEC’s to complement the visits they do as members of IECA. I found the time flew by, and after every meeting I came away with a new idea/fact/nugget about each program. Many of the programs I had visited, and this time together gave us uninterrupted time to get caught up on new initiatives etc. As for the programs I hadn’t visited, or didn’t know, they were able to give me enough information to entice me to visit so I could make a true assessment after a site visit. O.K. I’ll admit it; it didn’t take a lot of convincing to get me to say I’ll visit the Hawaii programs!

As usual during my travels, I had a brutal schedule filled with meetings, clients, phone calls, etc from breakfast through dinner, and as usual I ended the trip with that odd mixture IEC’s often have of feeling simultaneously utterly exhausted and energized. I’ve only been back for 3 days, and I am already looking forward to meeting up with some new found friends at the IECA Conference in Dallas next month, and, oh, maybe I need to book that trip to Hawaii, I hear the rainy season is almost over!

Teamwork and the Independent Educational Consultant

“Don’t worry Bar, most of them are small rapids. “

Small rapids…to me the expression small rapids is akin to jumbo shrimp; an oxymoron plain and simple.

So as I braced myself and plunged down river through the seemingly 12 foot walls of water, and 20 foot waterfalls (ok; an exaggeration I’ll admit, but still it was scary!) I realized, all too quickly, that my life, or at the very least my ability to walk without a significant limp, was in serious jeopardy.

I knew that this trip was a leap of faith; after all, I was putting my life in the hands of not only a guide who seemed to be younger than some of the t shirts I own but also a group of friends, some of whom I had known a grand total of 2 days, and others who had literally never whitewater rafted…yes, nervous is a good word to use…

As I did that day on the river, our families take a leap of faith when they retain us as IEC’s. Just as I wasn’t initially aware of my guide’s training, often times, through no fault of their own, our clients aren’t aware of the training and hard work that goes into a placement. Also, as I drifted down the river, I wasn’t aware that the rest of my team was going to be there for me at every turn, and we were going to work together to steer our way out of danger. Similarly, my families aren’t often aware of the team approach we use to help them through the difficult times, usually by the time families contact us at Loeta they are in dire straits, are seeking out answers, and are ready to work as a team; they just don’t know it…

So I learned a lot that day on the river; I gained a further appreciation for my clients and where they are coming from on an emotional level, I learned that teamwork isn’t just a phrase, but is a very important and real concept, and, pehaps most importantly, I learned that when a guide yells paddle right hard; she means it, lest you get very wet!

You Are What You WUPHF; Or The Changing Face of Independent Educational Consulting

Recently I was catching up on some shows I had recorded on my DVR, and I found myself involved in a 3 hour marathon of “The Office”. One episode which really stood out was last year’s season finale where Ryan developed a new social media mega-site called WUPHF. On WUPHF (pronounced Woof) you could link all of your contact information into one account so when you received one thing, say a fax, it would come through on all of your accounts. There is one great scene where Ryan is in his closet/office and everything starts ringing/buzzing and chirping at him at the same time… Of course typical of the show, they beat the joke into the ground (anyone who knows my family, knows why I love this humor so much) and by the end the WUPHF sounds completely ridiculous.

But is it?

Sure we don’t WUPHF, but if 15 years ago I had uttered this sentence; “Hey, got your RSS Feed, and I’m going to link it through to my Facebook and Twitter in a few; you mind if I blog about it too?” You most likely would have looked at me as quizzically as you would if I told you you’d be struggling with the decision of whether to get the iPad2 with or without the 3G capabilities. It’s true, what once seemed crazy is now normal.

In a similar vein, the field of Educational Consulting has grown in ways no-one could have imagined. While 15 years ago there were some incredible people doing amazing work, it was in many ways, a cottage industry. One was able, through hard work and word of mouth, to build and maintain a strong, profitable business. For good or bad, that is no more. The new normal is that there are now over 800 members of IECA , the majority of these new members go through a 5 day rigorous training session, the IECA Conferences now draw over 1,000 participants per conference on average and IEC’s, in general, are more trained and specialized than ever before. In addition, most IEC’s have websites, Twitter accounts, Facebook accounts and many Blog (which is an awesome verb by the way). And, most importantly for those of us who are IEC’s, more and more families are utilizing our services. Now please don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying all of this change is for the better; I feel that many of our more seasoned consultants can teach us all a thing or two about more traditional office practices, like phone calls, face to face time and word of mouth advertising, but this change is, for better or worse, normal.

At Loeta we look to these new ideas as opportunities, not only opportunities to present and promote Loeta Educational Consultants, but, more importantly, to promote the field of Educational Consulting. As members of today’s IECA, we are able to combine these new technologies, both within IECA and the schools themselves, with the more traditional aspects of school or program evaluation to assist us in developing not only a strong rapport with the schools, but also a stellar reputation as independent voices for our clients. There isn’t another profession which can lay claim to that fact.

Now we don’t have the hubris to think we know where all of this electronic media is going, but we do like the fact that IEC’s, partnering with IECA, are able to use these various social media tools, known and future, to spread the word of Educational Consulting as a profession. We look forward to that day when the first thing a family thinks of when they have a educational decision - whether it be for college, boarding school or wilderness therapy - will be to reach out to their neighborhood Independent Educational Consultant…

And who knows, maybe they’ll WUPHF us…



Learn about WUPHF here…

"Parenting Teens in the Age of Facebook" or "You Did WHAT Last Night?"

This morning I was scrolling through my Facebook page and came across a poll which my daughter had filled out. It was pretty benign stuff really; whom she had texted last, who was her last “crush” etc. Actually many of her answers amused me, but reading it made me think about two things; how much I know about my 15 year old and how little my parents really knew about me as a 15 year old…

I KNOW I don’t know everything about my child; as a matter of fact I can honestly say I don’t want to know everything my daughter does, there are certain things a Dad just doesn’t need to know. But it did get me thinking about the amount of information we as parents and adolescents have today about each other as opposed to only one generation ago and how that has changed how parents and children look at each other.

With the exploding popularity of electronic connection and social media, it is even harder for parents to hold the line. We all know that many teens are connected seemingly 24/7, but what is really blurring the line is parental use of these same social outlets. Parents have their own Facebook pages, they text, they tweet, they post videos to YouTube. And, like kids, they often post things on the internet which they later regret. Parents are, for lack of a better word, more humanized than parents of previous generations. I didn’t know what my Dad did at his 25th high school reunion, but a quick glance of Facebook will tell you what countless 40 somethings were up to at theirs.

One thing that comes along with this more open virtual dialogue between adults and teens (because let’s face it, because of our voyeuristic tendencies many of us find ourselves reading these on line polls and questionnaires) is that we feel we as parents know what our kids are up to and they’ll tell us everything because we’re their friends.

We don’t and they won’t.

In my work as an Independent Educational Consultant, there are two rules I tell my families about, the first is the 80/20 rule. The 80/20 rule is pretty simple; parents think they know about 80% of what their children do, and they really know about 20%. Think about it for a minute, how much did your parents know? I know what you’re thinking; “But I’m his friend on Facebook.” or “She always texts me when she’s someplace safe.” The reality is that it is normal for teens to rebel; it’s a part of growing up and we are fooling ourselves if we feel our kids are any different.

The second rule is pretty simple also; we are parents first. Our kids have enough friends, they only have 2 parents. We must remember that our number one job is to be the parent, and that our decisions must be made as parents. We have to accept that we will sometimes be unpopular and that’s ok because it’s our job.

It’s not all doom and gloom, there is a lot of good that comes from this new openness between parents and children. I think that there is a strong upside to having parents more humanized; it shows that we too have our own struggles, conflicts and issues, and I feel quite strongly that the more children and parents openly dialogue the more we can have our children feel confident that they can come to us with issues and concerns.

But, as the old adage goes, take it all with a grain of salt.

By the way, in an earlier Facebook question my daughter talked about me being the “coolest Daddio in the whole world”

I bought it.

So yes; I am wrapped around her little finger, but i know it, so that makes it ok. Right?

Navigating blizzards with the aid of an Independent Educational Consultant

For those of you who don’t follow CNN 24/7, or if you happen to live in a cave, you may not know that those of us in the Northeast got slammed with a pretty significant snowstorm last week. I know I heard reports of 30 inches way south (you know, like New Jersey) but up here in Maine we had a rather pedestrian 12 inches.

For about 24 hours during the height of the storm, I spent a lot of time getting updates from weather.com and CNN on both my computer and television, I kept reading and watching stories filled with doom and gloom; airports being shut down, people being stuck in their cars on the highways etc. In my fervor of following the storm that day, I switched from CNN to my local NBC affiliate. Honestly I had grown weary of the national news and wanted to see how the storm how the storm was going to affect us here in Mid-Coast Maine.

I have to admit, it had been a long time since I had watched the local news. I found it refreshing to watch a station which took the time to tell me not only what is going on in the country, but also in my town. The most heartening stories I watched that night were the ones which looked at the good side of the storm, they did a segment on the kids sledding, and a wonderful piece on a young man who chose to take the afternoon to help elderly neighbors get their walkways and driveway cleared of snow. Yes, they did the obligatory pieces on the serious aspects of the storm, but I was glad to see that they also made sure they did the more personal stories as well.


I like to think that at Loeta we deliver our services like the local news. We pride ourselves on our personal touch, and we make sure that every family we work with feels that they are important to us. We make sure that we are available to them at every point of the process, and we understand that they know we are there for them throughout. Like the local news we make sure the important pieces and logistics are taken care of, but we pride ourselves on our personal touch and our local flavor.

Just as we like to think of ourselves as the local news, many of our families feel that of their situations are analogous to a blizzard. They feel blinded by their teen’s decisions, that they as parents may lose power, that no matter how much they prepare something will go wrong and that the “snow” piles up pretty fast and deep. Often times the storm just keeps coming and coming and there doesn’t seem to be an end in sight.

But, as we know, blizzards always end. There is always that bright, sunny day afterwards when, if we prepared well, we can make it through the blizzard unscathed. We go sledding, we ski, we go for a brisk walk we learn to accept the snow, and make the best of it, and, despite our grumbling about the cold, we actually learn to enjoy it. So if our child is a blizzard, we need to prepare and get supplies. We also need to hold out, knowing that there will be that sunny day soon. And, well, we need to watch our local news!

Definition of an Independent Educational Consultant; according to a second grader…

For those of you who are regular readers of this blog, you know that my daughters are often the central focus of my writings, and this month is no exception. A few years ago, during a second grade presentation on her parents, my younger daughter was asked what I did for a living; while I wasn’t there to hear, she reported back to me the next day.

“Well what did you say sweetie?” In my naiveté, I was ready for her to spout the intricacies and subtleties of life as an IEC (independent educational consultant)

“I told them you’re a consultant, an educational consultant.”

“That’s right, did you say anything else?” I eagerly responded.
“Um…well…” she stammered, trying to find the right words.

And then as if the light went off she recited, “I told them you tell parents where their kids should go camping to some field somewhere, oh and you talk to them on the phone a lot…”

My head dropped.

My daughter isn’t the only one who struggles understanding just what exactly it is that we do, whenever I travel outside the bubble of our conferences and the schools and programs we work with, I find myself having to explain the role of an IEC. At first, I confess, I would explain it almost apologetically. I, like many new consultants, didn’t have the confidence to understand that we are not only a very important cog in the machine but, in many cases, the most important one. We are the only ones out there meeting the programs on their own turf, getting to know the admissions directors, seeing the kids on campuses and really getting a pulse of what’s going on. It is our job to look beyond the shiny brochures and to find those diamonds in the rough. At Loeta we tout that we are a team, not only within the firm, but also with our families, the professionals involved with our clients, and, most importantly, the students we serve themselves. Everyone brings their expertise to the table, and we work it out together.

A larger, but equally important team I’m a member of is the Independent Educational Consultant Association (IECA). Being a member of IECA is one of the proudest accomplishments of my professional career. As a recently elected board member I have had the pleasure to participate more fully in the running of this organization, and have been exposed to a group of colleagues whom I really would never have any crossover with if I hadn’t joined the board. I am always amazed at not only the depth but also breadth of expertise and knowledge within this group. Certainly when you get a group of 850 Independent business owners together, not all will agree on every issue, but what is so wonderful about my colleagues at IECA is the fact that beneath it all we all have the same drive; to help families realize that there are choices out there, and we’re going give them unbiased advice and recommendations based on our professional judgment of the student’s needs and abilities.

My daughter is now in 6th grade, and while she can recite the states and their capitals, do mathematics which dumfound me and name the starting lineup of the Celtics; I’m still not sure she can really explain what I do…

And miles to go before I sleep…..

Pick-up Trucks and iPods

A few years ago I was out looking to buy a used truck, I thought it’d be good for towing my boat and for occasional trips to Home Depot or, more likely, the dump. My then 7 year old daughter loved riding in the trucks, so I used to take her with me to go for test drives. When we stepped into one particularly handsome Ford, I asked her to roll down the window; she looked quizzically at the hand crank attached to the door, back to me, and then proceeded to press the middle of the crank thinking it would magically open the window. After a few more attempts, she turned to me to announce the window was broken…

I was taken aback, but after a while I realized that she wasn’t being spoiled, rather it was simply the fact that she had never actually seen a hand crank window. Once I explained it to her, she actually thought it was fun to crank the window up and down, and soon thereafter I witnessed the odd juxtaposition of looking over at her cranking the window up and down, all the while listening to her iPod.

I shook my head…

At the most recent IECA (www.iecaonline.org) conference Executive Director Mark Sklarow presented a session on social media, and how it’s presently impacting, and will continue to impact, our profession. While I fully expected to see many of the newer consultants in the room, what was heartening to me was to see many of the more seasoned members of our profession join in. These more seasoned consultants obviously understood that while they have the traditional way of working with, and reaching out to, families down, they knew that times were changing. As I watched more and more seasoned professionals delve into the new social media in the weeks following the conference, I knew that the session was effective in its message. To me, however, what’s even more important than that is making sure that the newer consultants know that it’s a two way street. That we have a lot to learn from the more seasoned consultants about personal connection with their clients and that nothing can replace the human aspect of our profession.

At Loeta we certainly have embraced the internet and the new social media and have incorporated all of it heavily into our practice. We produce an e-newsletter, we are constantly expanding our presence on the internet through Facebook, this blog, Linkedin and our website, and, yes, we Tweet. Obviously we love the fact that we can keep people abreast of what’s going on through these various mediums but to us it’s important to make sure that this is balanced with the phone call to (or visit with) parents who are distraught about their teen’s choices or by spending some one on one time with a teen struggling with school or friends. We understand that we can reach thousands of people through the new social media, but if we don’t treat them with respect and dignity and can’t connect with then, it’s all for naught.

It’s all about balance; kind of like a hand crank window and an iPod.