The Evolving Role of Independent Educational Consultants, Part 2

Times change.

Recent events, both large and small, have hammered this point home for me these last few months.  On the positive side, it cost me a few less bucks to fill my gas tank yesterday than it did a few weeks ago; but that joy was quickly squelched when my eldest daughter’s college tuition bill came due. 

For those of you who are followers of Loeta and consistent readers of this blog, you know that we pride ourselves on our ability to change with the times.  Our last blog was all about the changing demographics of our clients, and before that we have spoken about changes in programming and schools as well.  Throughout all of this change one thing remains consistent; the product that we are delivering, however if one were to look at the delivery method today versus 5 years ago one would see a marked difference.

Whether it be more flexible contract lengths, more a-la-carte services being offered, an emphasis on case management, or more effective use of video conferencing and social media; more so than ever the overall trend is that educational consultants must look at each case individually, work with the clients and meet the clients where they are (both literally and metaphorically) as opposed to the older model of generating lists and doing straight placement.

When speaking with families I tell them that with 25 years experience, and literally hundreds of site visits and clients during that time, when it comes to the schools and programs - I am indeed the expert.  Conversely they have raised their child, changed diapers, mended skinned knees, and been there through the good times and bad; therefore they are the experts when it comes to their child.  I let families know I depend upon their expertise, and that as a team we will find the best possible academic and/or emotional environment for their at-risk loved one.

So yes, times have changed.  While many lament at the fact that we can’t buy a new car for $5,000 or home for $50,000, I prefer to embrace the fact that we now have so many more options; newer and better ways to communicate and deliver information, a wealth of research and education when it comes to new modalities of treatment and a society which is finally embracing the fact that different doesn’t necessarily mean bad.

Now If I could just do something about that college tuition bill…

Bullying in the Age of Facebook...A Scary New World

I remember going to a summer hockey camp back in the mid 1970’s; 2 weeks of being on the ice an average of 6 or so hours a day with lots of other activities including tennis, swimming and flag-football games to fill the summer days of a bunch of 10-18 year old boys.

Sounds pretty good, doesn’t it…

Well it wasn’t.

You see I was one of the 10 year olds; low man on the totem pole, so my life was pretty rough.  I was picked on and bullied fairly intensely, and I spent many nights crying in my pillow. But I was lucky, the leader of the camp was a nice gentleman who took me under his wing, and allowed me to escape. He would invite me over to his faculty apartment and I had quiet evenings away from what seemed like hell. By the end I even learned to really enjoy myself. In retrospect what I went through was really just a normal amount of “boys being boys”, and in many ways was a learning experience for me, but at the time it seemed pretty bad.

The big difference between my experience and what happens today? I was able to get away, to escape. I wasn’t hounded 24/7. There was no Facebook, no mass texts, no internet. Think back for a bit; imagine if those bullies you faced in middle school had access to your entire life. Sounds pretty bad, doesn’t it. As adults we just can’t imagine it, but the reality is our children live it everyday. For those who compare what we went through as kids to what’s happening today, I say you are at best being naïve, at worst cold and unfeeling.

I made it through that hockey camp unscathed. My hope is that you pass the this blog along to friends, professionals and kids so they can see what cyberbullying is all about, and more kids can make it through school the same way.

The article below gives some great insight into the cyberbullying world, and has some great advice at the end.  We need to ALL stand up against this.

.

Cyberbullying versus Traditional Bullying
When joking crosses the line. Published on May 14, 2012
by Raychelle Cassada Lohmann, M.S., L.P.C. in Teen Angst

  Just how different is traditional bullying from cyberbullying? Studies are beginning to show that the way youth bully online is a lot different from traditional schoolyard bullying. Teens may think what they are posting or texting is just a joke, but if you're on the receiving end it may not be all that funny. In fact, if the "joking" is repetitive, it could cross the line into bullying, more specifically cyberbullying.

According to the American Academy of Pediatrics cyberbullying is the "most common online risk for all teens and is a peer to peer risk." According to a study released by the University of British Columbia cyberbullying is a big problem, even more common than traditional bullying. About 25 to 30 percent of the young people surveyed admitted experiencing or taking part in cyberbullying, but only 12 percent said the same about traditional bullying. To top it off, 95 percent of the youth said that what happened online was meant to be a joke and about 5 percent was actually meant to harm someone. So, what makes cyberbullying so different from traditional bullying?

In traditional bullying you're usually working with a bully, victim or bystander but that's not the case in cyberbullying. In fact, it's not uncommon to play multiple roles such as cyberbully, target and witness. Previous research indicates that cyberbullying is rarely pre-meditated like traditional bullying, where the bully plans his or her line of attack. In many cases cyberbullying is done impulsively and not planned out like in traditional bullying where the bully pre-meditates the next attack. Also, traditional bullying has the following characteristics that may not be present in cyberbullying cases:

•a need for power and control
•proactively targeting the victim
•aggression

So, just what is cyberbullying? By definition, it's the deliberate and repeated harm inflicted through the use of cell phones/Smartphone's, computers/tablets, and other electronic devices (including Wi-Fi gaming devices). It's an easier way to bully because unlike traditional bullying it doesn't involve face to face interaction. Teens can become desensitized to a computer screen, and say or do things they wouldn't do to a person's face. The computer desensitizes teens and decreases the level of empathy they feel toward the victim. Plus, when they can't see the person's reaction to what they post or text they may not know if they've gone too far.

It appears that today's youth don't equate joking around with bullying. Even though they do it jokingly it can cut the receiver deeply. By definition a joke is something that is suppose to but here's the magic question "who's laughing?" Ask any teen who's been cyberbullied and they probably won't see the humor in the situation. Plus, when something is posted online, it can be humiliating. That old saying "www" means the "whole world's watching" holds true and cyberbullying victims know it. Bottom line is cyberbullying hurts.

Just Imagine...

You get a text from a friend to check out someone's page, you go there and see degrading posts and a crude picture of you in a swimsuit that had been Photoshopped. Following the posts are a string of lewd comments. You start getting text after text from people, some you don't even know, saying mean things about the post. It feels like the world is laughing at you only you're not laughing. You dread going to school the next day because you have to face all of these people. Your stomach is churning and your head is pounding. You pray it will just go away, like it never happened. "MAKE IT STOP, Make It Stop, make it stop." screams through your mind. You have just entered into the world of a victim. What may have started as a mean joke crossed the line into something more severe, cyberbullying. Scenarios like this are just one example of how some teens are misusing technology.

Young people can quickly spread a rumor through texting, taping an embarrassing incident and posting it on YouTube, or uploading pictures or unkind comments on social networking sites. There are many different avenues that can be used to cyberbully. The key to decreasing cyberbullying is educating today's youth to think before they click. One wrong click has the power to change someone's life forever.

Teaching teens to protect themselves online is very important. I compare learning how to drive a car to teaching teens how to use technology. Here's my logic, odds are you wouldn't turn your teen loose with the keys to the car if they haven't been properly trained or educated to operate a vehicle Why? Because it's dangerous! He could kill himself or someone else. Well, we should realize that the wonderful cyber world also possesses dangers. The internet highway can be dangerous if teens post inappropriate material, bully, give out personal information to strangers, etc. So we really need to educate our teens about how to use technology appropriately. Just as you probably wouldn't toss the car keys at an inexperienced teen and tell him to go take a spin, you shouldn't place a Smartphone or any other electronic device with internet capability in his hands without making sure that he knows how to use it properly.

Let's help our teens realize that feelings do exist in the cyber world, manners do matter, and most importantly, there's a real life person on the receiving end of the messages... A person who laughs, cries and hurts, just like we do. Please help teach our young people that what they do and say to one another off or online does make a difference.

Teens can use these tips to protect themselves online.

•Tell a trusted adult if you're being cyberbullied.
•If you know someone who's being a cyberbully tell her/him to knock it off, if they don't report it. •Contact host/site providers if inappropriate material is being posted on their site.
•Save all evidence if you're being bullied online. Don't delete without keeping a copy for yourself. •Don't respond to rude messages.
•If someone angers you, wait, don't fire off a rude comeback. It'll only make things worse.
•Don't share personal information online.
•Protect your username and password. Don't share it with friends.
•Don't open anything from someone you don't know.
•Keep privacy settings on your computer. Secure your information.
•Choose your friends wisely.
•Only accept close friends on your social networking sites.
•Don't post anything online that you wouldn't mind your parents seeing.
•Most importantly, treat others as you want to be treated. Think before you click. Look at what your posting or uploading and ask "Would I want someone saying or putting that about me online?" If the answer is "No" then don't do it.

While the internet can be fun and super cool it comes with responsibility. Have fun with technology just take heed and exercise caution when using it. A joke is meant to be funny but not at the expense of another person's feelings. Young people joking is one click away from cyberbullying.

How one Independent Educational Consultant helped a few families; 4204 times..

4204.

It sounds like a pretty benign number, but to me 4204 it was pretty amazing, you see 4204 was the number of texts I sent and received last month. Now certainly there were quite a few to and from friends and family; for example I remember a rather amusing exchange I had with my 16 year old daughter when we on a basketball trip together, but many of them were to and from therapists, parents, and clients; in short many of them were team texts.

What is a team text you ask? Well, that’s a legitimate question. To answer that you need to know that so much of what I aspire to do is to develop a team approach to working with my families. I incorporate therapists, teachers, coaches, and family friends; anyone who will help me paint a picture. Included in that team, of course, are the parents, and the kids (disclaimer, I refer to all of my clients as kids, I know it’s not right, and most likely not politically correct. Maybe for the over 18 year old kids I should use the phrases young adults, or persons of emerging maturity – yes I just made that up - but I don’t, sorry) So a team text is a correspondence between/amongst the team to help share information. It may be as simple as a change in time of a weekly call, or it may be as significant as updates from a transport agent or therapist. In any case, the immediacy of these team texts really helps in putting out a metaphorical fire or perhaps allows a Mom or Dad to sleep a bit better knowing their child is safe.

You see when we are retained by a family, I always tell them a variation of the phrase; contact me at any time, phone, fax, email, and yes, text. Many of my fellow IEC’s cringe at this, but I feel it’s important. If you have read my blog before you know that I use my role as an IEC as a modified case manager and it’s in that role that I often team text. I feel it’s imperative that the families know that they have me in their corner, and I have found that while they will never replace face to face or a phone call, these texts really help many families.

It’s a scary time for a lot of the families who hire us, and I like to think that doing some case management; spending lots of time on the phone listening to insights and offering advice and, yes, being available when they need me, makes this tumultuous time a little less scary for everyone.

Oh, gotta go…you guessed it, just got a text!

Teamwork and the Independent Educational Consultant

“Don’t worry Bar, most of them are small rapids. “

Small rapids…to me the expression small rapids is akin to jumbo shrimp; an oxymoron plain and simple.

So as I braced myself and plunged down river through the seemingly 12 foot walls of water, and 20 foot waterfalls (ok; an exaggeration I’ll admit, but still it was scary!) I realized, all too quickly, that my life, or at the very least my ability to walk without a significant limp, was in serious jeopardy.

I knew that this trip was a leap of faith; after all, I was putting my life in the hands of not only a guide who seemed to be younger than some of the t shirts I own but also a group of friends, some of whom I had known a grand total of 2 days, and others who had literally never whitewater rafted…yes, nervous is a good word to use…

As I did that day on the river, our families take a leap of faith when they retain us as IEC’s. Just as I wasn’t initially aware of my guide’s training, often times, through no fault of their own, our clients aren’t aware of the training and hard work that goes into a placement. Also, as I drifted down the river, I wasn’t aware that the rest of my team was going to be there for me at every turn, and we were going to work together to steer our way out of danger. Similarly, my families aren’t often aware of the team approach we use to help them through the difficult times, usually by the time families contact us at Loeta they are in dire straits, are seeking out answers, and are ready to work as a team; they just don’t know it…

So I learned a lot that day on the river; I gained a further appreciation for my clients and where they are coming from on an emotional level, I learned that teamwork isn’t just a phrase, but is a very important and real concept, and, pehaps most importantly, I learned that when a guide yells paddle right hard; she means it, lest you get very wet!

You Are What You WUPHF; Or The Changing Face of Independent Educational Consulting

Recently I was catching up on some shows I had recorded on my DVR, and I found myself involved in a 3 hour marathon of “The Office”. One episode which really stood out was last year’s season finale where Ryan developed a new social media mega-site called WUPHF. On WUPHF (pronounced Woof) you could link all of your contact information into one account so when you received one thing, say a fax, it would come through on all of your accounts. There is one great scene where Ryan is in his closet/office and everything starts ringing/buzzing and chirping at him at the same time… Of course typical of the show, they beat the joke into the ground (anyone who knows my family, knows why I love this humor so much) and by the end the WUPHF sounds completely ridiculous.

But is it?

Sure we don’t WUPHF, but if 15 years ago I had uttered this sentence; “Hey, got your RSS Feed, and I’m going to link it through to my Facebook and Twitter in a few; you mind if I blog about it too?” You most likely would have looked at me as quizzically as you would if I told you you’d be struggling with the decision of whether to get the iPad2 with or without the 3G capabilities. It’s true, what once seemed crazy is now normal.

In a similar vein, the field of Educational Consulting has grown in ways no-one could have imagined. While 15 years ago there were some incredible people doing amazing work, it was in many ways, a cottage industry. One was able, through hard work and word of mouth, to build and maintain a strong, profitable business. For good or bad, that is no more. The new normal is that there are now over 800 members of IECA , the majority of these new members go through a 5 day rigorous training session, the IECA Conferences now draw over 1,000 participants per conference on average and IEC’s, in general, are more trained and specialized than ever before. In addition, most IEC’s have websites, Twitter accounts, Facebook accounts and many Blog (which is an awesome verb by the way). And, most importantly for those of us who are IEC’s, more and more families are utilizing our services. Now please don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying all of this change is for the better; I feel that many of our more seasoned consultants can teach us all a thing or two about more traditional office practices, like phone calls, face to face time and word of mouth advertising, but this change is, for better or worse, normal.

At Loeta we look to these new ideas as opportunities, not only opportunities to present and promote Loeta Educational Consultants, but, more importantly, to promote the field of Educational Consulting. As members of today’s IECA, we are able to combine these new technologies, both within IECA and the schools themselves, with the more traditional aspects of school or program evaluation to assist us in developing not only a strong rapport with the schools, but also a stellar reputation as independent voices for our clients. There isn’t another profession which can lay claim to that fact.

Now we don’t have the hubris to think we know where all of this electronic media is going, but we do like the fact that IEC’s, partnering with IECA, are able to use these various social media tools, known and future, to spread the word of Educational Consulting as a profession. We look forward to that day when the first thing a family thinks of when they have a educational decision - whether it be for college, boarding school or wilderness therapy - will be to reach out to their neighborhood Independent Educational Consultant…

And who knows, maybe they’ll WUPHF us…



Learn about WUPHF here…